I'm from here. I'm local; like really local -- I'm 6th generation
slocal, born in SLO, went to SLO High, went to CalPoly, and I play
radio here too. I'm very very lucky to be fairly well traveled for my
age and I can easily say, though I have seen many paradises, I
wouldn't want to come home to anywhere but here.

- I am bigger than you.

- If I could, I would eat every meal of my life with my titanium
spork. It is the perfect utensil. It has become known as my Batman

- I can control the world from my phone.

- The order I put on clothes after a shower goes: underpants then
shoes and socks. This is how I do it because it is the most efficient.

- People think I am weird, but I am just a mirror of the world I live in.

- I don't get sick. I DON'T GET SICK.

- I've ridden a camel to the pyramids at Giza, I have scaled the
Acropolis to the Parthenon in Athens, I've been to Ephesus and Rome, I
have seen the Mona Lisa and been through the Panama Canal twice, but I
won't do that.

- I can't stand the feeling of velvet or velvety things and it is
getting worse with age. There are now some felt tip markers I can
barely stand to write with.

- I believe you cannot put enough pepper on a potato.

- I love you but we only have 14 hours to save the earth!

- I've had diabetes(I got better) and obviously still need to be wary
of my sugar intake, and the hardest thing for me to give up was Dr.
Pepper. It took Betty Ford to get me off The Pepper.

- I am certified to artificially inseminate cattle in the state of California.

- I was told to say the words "juicy and flavorful" on the radio today
about a fast food joint's hamburger. I didn't say it, I am juicy and
flavorful enough for the listeners.

- I am a child; I will shake the package, watch cartoons, laugh at
inadvertent sexual references, and love playing with toys and video
games until the day I die.

- I am a parking gangster.

- I always speak in hyperbole because it's the only way to get through
to this MTV generation with their rap music, Pop-Tarts, and Trapper
Keeper binders.

- I have broken the sound barrier but you must never ask me how.

- I think the Cheesy Gordita Crunch from Taco Bell is one of the most
delicious foods this world has, or will, ever see.

- If everyone who is involved with American Idol died in a molten vat
of human waste I would not bat an eye.

- I have style. It, on the whole, is loud and obnoxious like me and I like it.

- I get pedicures and even the occasional manicure; the social
ridicule is absolutely worth the cuticle attention.

- I love buttons, the word and the thing. I like to touch them and
will say the word just to cheer myself up.

- I can out drink you.

- I have always been too smart for my own good.